How to find Chuck Norris::

1. Look around.
2. You won't find Chuck Norris.
3. But Chuck Norris has found you!

How to be a texting adult:

1. spell out all the words
2. ask what they mean when they write LOL , TTYL, or any other abreviation
3. use out of date slang like "That's far out" or "Groovey"

How to Present A Speech:

1. Play Sci-fi Music.
2. Get A Deep Voice.
3. Begin With, "In A World..."

How to Study for a Test:

1. Open the book.
2. Read the book.
3. Decide the book is boring and write the answers backwards on your desk.

How to solve a Rubik's cube:

1. Make a few random turns.
2. End up solving one side of the cube.
3. Peel off the stickers and stick them back on.

How to be obsessive :

1. Pick a topic to obsess over
2. Collect EVERYTHING made about./ for it.
3. If you ever see it or, someone else talking about it, giggle and began blabbing about it to anyone near

How to sell tons of fundraiser stuff:

1. Find a cute little child
2. Bribe them with candy to sell stuff
3. Sit back, relax, and get prizes for selling stuff

How to Make a Date miserable:

1. fall asleep at the movie and snore really loud.
2. Eat your meal with your hands.
3. Instead of kissing them goodbye, lick them like a dog.

How to be a monkey:

1. Scratch places in public, that really aren't mean't to be scratched in public.
2. Lay around naked all day with staring people peering in at you.
3. Two words: Throw, Poo!

How to finally go to sleep:

1. Turn off the computer.
2. Go to bed and try to sleep.
3. Turn on your computer again to check something you remembered.

How to sound smart:

1. Get a dictionary.
2. Look up a complicated word.
3. Start using it, and everyone will believe that you are smart.

How to be a BLONDE:

1. Write on your computer screen with permanent marker instead of the keyboard.
2. Walk into a glass sliding door.
3. Go to the pizza shop and order a pizza, tell the man that you want six slices, because you could never eat twelve!

More How to get kicked out of Walmarts:

1. Go into the changing room and after a while, loudly shout "There's no toliet paper in here!"
2. Every time the loud speakers can be heard, duck down and shout, "It's those voices again!"
3. Hide in the clothes racks and when someone walks by, shout "Pick me, Pick me!"

How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart:

1. Ride the bicycles through the aisles, screaming at the top of your lungs
2. Ask every employee you see if they will push you in a shopping cart
3. Take clothes from different departments and mix them up (swap boxers for bras)

How to piss off your waiter..:

1. Change your order two, no,.. three times.
2. Complain, complain, complain.
3. Dont leave a tip

How to professionally waste time:

1. See Step 2
2. See Step 3
3. Go back to Step 1

How to get lots of candy on halloween.:

1. Get a very scary costume.
2. Go up so a little kid and scare them.
3. Hopefully they will drop the loot so you can take it.

How to be a creep:

1. wear dark colours
2. smile really wide
3. hang around behind doors and in corners

How to make the :d emoticon in real life:

1. Stretch your tongue out.
2. Roll your tongue over your upper lip and keep stretching.
3. Lick your nose.

How to Be a King:

1. Proclaim yourself king
2. Threaten to kill anyone who opposes you
3. Have someone else kill everyone who opposes you

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